These past few months I have become accustomed with working in The Capitol, and am now enjoying a pleasant bourgeosie life. I buy ridiculously adjectived products such as “organic dark-chocolate covered walnuts”, “iodinized natural sea salt”, and “organic gluten-free sunflower butter”, and yet somehow still have enough wealth left over to allocate in all sorts of places. Additionally, all the food I buy strictly adheres to a “tax evasion diet”: This means I am just really stingy and want to maintain proper health and well-being, so I only buy foods which do not have associated sales taxes. I then use my underappreciated culinary abilities to combine them to create delightful creations.

I pretend my lifestyle is a “coccoon of good feels” with the “coccoon” being my luxurious studio apartment and the “good feels” being my various refined habits. These habits include but are not limited to:

  1. Staying home and staring out the window while enjoying culturally enriched readings
  2. Staying home and baking Halloween sugar cookies even though it is barely even September
  3. Staying home and playing highly-cultured Mystery Dungeon or Rhythm games
  4. Staying home and being intellectual by doing graduate school homework
  5. Going to the gym at my apartment to steal water from the water fountain but still exercise a little bit to make it look like I came to work out
  6. Going to the gym to repeatedly pick up and put down heavy objects as a way to cope with repressed anger from a life full of hardships

Related to the above, one currently irksome development is that I have developed close connections to certain pieces of gym equipment. I always want to use the center left elliptical every weekday at exactly 7:35 PM, but sometimes other people decide to use it. When this happens, I feel an irrational amount of contempt towards them, and it tends to ruins my day. Because of them, *I* have to SETTLE for one of the other ellipticals, and do not recieve the same workout experience. How dare these cretins occupy *MY* elliptical when *I* need to use it….GRRRR …..HISSSSSSS… (* ^ ^ ^ Sodium levels Rising ^ ^ ^ *).

The fact that I am complaining about people stealing my elliptical probably means I do not have actual urgent issues to complain about. I will remain in this “coccoon” and one day rise again, harder, stronger, and increased in salinity.

As a side note: I have recently completed a course in graduate level linear algebra, and another one in signal stuff. Just saying the words “linear algebra” gives me a warm fuzzy intellectual feeling… Low IQ people probably hate me.