As I get increasingly older (and more salient regarding my eventual death), I gradually realize that my life is simply what I have settled for, rather than what I truly desire. It is like life is a constant stream of consolation prizes, but just enough happiness to make it still worth living. Moreover, I have a feeling this trend will only continue as I turn even older which I guess is both comforting and problematic at the same time. Below is a current list of what I have realized I have settled for; if I get more free time I suppose I will think of more:

  1. I want people to buy me gifts from my Amazon wish list, but nobody ever does so I settle for not having things.

  2. I want to do curls with a barbell, but there are no barbells in my apartment gym, so I settle for curling with dumbells.

  3. I want to eat filet mignon and fresh seafood every day, but I am stingy and health-conscious so I settle for primarily chicken breast. Occasionally I treat myself by getting top round, sirloin, and miscellaneous fish meat…also fermented crab.

  4. I want to stay home, eat, and play video games all day, but I need a way to pay for rent, food, and video games so I settle for working as an engineer. Each day being an engineer increases my sodium chloride levels.

  5. When I was an undergraduate I wanted a GPA of 3.939 to honor my waifu. Since there is no way to change the past I have to settle for the 3.92 I ended up getting. I suppose things could be worse though.

  6. I want all people who were unfairly mean to me when I was growing up to die horrible and painful deaths. However, I am both too lazy and too ethical to ensure this actually happens, so I settle for personally striving toward a long and enjoyable life. This said, occasionally there is slight schadenfreudic delight from hearing or seeing misfortune occur to people of the above sentence, as they undoubtedly deserved it. There is also just any sort of schadenfreudic delight in general (^:

  7. I wanted to live a normal happy life, but society is not optimized for me to do so, so I will settle for regular existence. This existence is filled with struggles but bits of happy things every once in a while.